The Limbo of Exploration

"Seek and you shall find."

Yyyyeahright. Most times we are seeking just to seek.

No one ever really ever cops to it, or tells you exactly what you'll find in the search for whatever the hell it is you're looking for. Even if you know, beyond shadows of all doubt, that thing—that "it"—that you are reaching, digging, striving, scratching for, it's inevitable that you will find piles of junk, unearth things that bite back, stumble and fall knee-deep in shit and along the way have those seemingly stagnant moments of exhaustion and "sit & think of next moves."

MmmAwwww, sorry… But didn't you know? Weren't you told? This is the inglorious, unpolished, decidedly unsexy reality of the "seek and you shall find" story. You will find much more than you ever bargained for and so are you seeking to find or taking in the wonders and struggles and progress of the entire search?

As one strapped with the blessing/curse of feeling the pull to perpetually search, I find my self here quite a bit. Even now I feel myself reaching one of those stopover points of rest and contemplation. I'm doing the right things, but coming up with handfuls of dirt. Ah, but there's the thing. I love that. I need that. I feel alive in that. The search is the thing, the formulation of next moves, that situational adult ADHD that keeps me looking. For what? I'll let you know when I get there… but all of this, everything 'RDQLUS' is a result of the search.

Seek to seek… It's my own personal limbo of exploration.

-- ya' boy, Stevie G.